The lies just keep accumulating, terrifying and neverending, like the pieces of yourself when you can't take your body anymore, dripping and falling down around you like so many snowflakes.  Make something up and try to get out of it, original intention is seen.  I bet you wished you 'd never told the truth, I bet you wished you'd lied forever, but I forced it out of you like the rapist that I am, like the owner that I am, like the horrible person I am.  I wish it could have been different, I miss you, I want you, I love you, I hate this thing, this fight, this day, this feeling, this time, this way, this ever present death that I feel, pain that I feel, guilt that I feel.  Nevermind, it doesn't matter, it never matter, I am quiet, I listen, I am patient, I contain, I restrain.

I wish I knew the truth, I wish I knew for sure, I wish I knew something, anything at all that matter, but nothing matters, nevermind.  I wish everything, and I wish nothing at all, I wish for nothing.  Not nothing for myself, but nothing in general, nothingness, that we would not exist, and we would all be happy.  Not happy, but not sad, and that's more than most get breaks as, from, in, nevermind, forget it all happened in the first place.